Stan has a petrol station in Medina and was trying to increase sales.
So he put up a sign that read “Free Sex With Every Fill-up”
Soon Kev pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex – Stan told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.
If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex – Kev guessed 8 and Van said “You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time”
A week later, Kev along with his buddy Frank, pulled in for another fill-up
Again he asked for his free sex. Stan again asked him to guess the correct number. He guessed 2 this time. Van said “Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time”.
As they were driving away, Kev said to his buddy “I think that game is rigged, and he doesn’t really give away free sex”
Frank replied “No it is not rigged. My wife won twice last week “
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A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
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Two cab drivers met.
“Hey,” asked one, “why did you paint one side of Your cab red and the other side blue?”
“Well,” he responded, “when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.”
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A Canadian lumber camp advertises for a lumberjack. A skinny little guy shows up at the camp the next day carrying an axe.
The head lumberjack takes one look at the puny little guy and tells him to get lost.
"Give me a chance to show you what I can do," says the skinny guy.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" says the head lumberjack. "Take your axe and cut it down."
The guy heads for the tree, and in five minutes he's knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," says the guy.
The lumberjack can't believe his eyes and says, "Where did you learn to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," says the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," says the lumberjack.
"Sure......That's what they call it now!"
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A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
'What was that for?' he asked.
'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.
'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,' he explained.
'Oh honey, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation.'
Three days later he was watching the football on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, 'What the hell was that for?'
She replied.......'Your horse just phoned'
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