Two businessmen in a new shopping mall.....were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop...
As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by,put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you selling here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling a*s-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the old dear said, “Must be doing well...
Only two left!."
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I called an old school friend, now an academic in a science faculty, and asked what was he doing.He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum andsteel under a constrained environment." I was impressed, and thought he obviously was working on an interesting Post-Doctoral topic.
On further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water ... under his wife's supervision.
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While running around the lounge swatting flies the wife asked me how many had I got?
I said “Six...3 males 3 females “
“How do you know the difference?” She asked “ Three on a beer can, three on the phone”.
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He said, "Call for backup."
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"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it." -Mary Wilson Little
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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."
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Frustrated at always being corrected by her husband, a woman decided that the next time it happened, she would have a comeback. That moment finally arrived, and she was ready.
"You know," she challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day."
Her husband looked at her and replied, "Twice."
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Our goal to promote a non-threatening and productive office environment is to establish language that is gender-neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-neutral while celebrating our spirit of diversity.
