Fred had a problem and he confided in Jed because he was a little older.
“Problem is, “ said Fred, “I have a choice of two women.
One is young and beautiful and I love her dearly. But she Is broke. The other is an older woman, a widow and quite plain, but she is a millionaire. What should I do?”
It was no problem for Jed.
“Follow your heart,” he advised. “Marry the young girl you love. And give me the address of the widow.”
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A student knocks on the door of a house in the affluent part of town. Man opens the door, student said “I’m trying to earn some money to help with the costs of my education”.
The man said,”If you like,you can paint my porch, I’ll give you fifty quid”
Student replied “ Yes, I’m willing to have a go at anything”
Man said “Go down to the garage, everything you need is there”
Off the student goes to the garage.
About seven hours later he knocks on the door, the man opens the door and said “Have you finished?” “Yes the student said, would you like to have a look?”
“No that’s OK “ said the man “You look a competent honest chap. Here’s the money”.
“Thank you” said the student and turned to walk away,then hesitated.Over his shoulder he said “If you don’t mind me saying so sir, it’ pronounced Porche”
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The Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own cattle ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the spread of his dreams in Wyoming.
"So, what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friend when he flew out to visit.
"We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy. "Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch."
"Wow!" his friend was impressed. But looking around he saw no cattle. "So... where are all the cows?"
"None of 'em survived the branding."
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Walking into the bar, Mike said to
Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'
'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'
'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'
'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'
She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'
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Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a Small .22 cal Beretta Pistol:
This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.
Here's her story in her own words:
"While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in The Villages with my soon to be ex-husband, discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.
It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta .22 calibre pistol with me, I would not be here today!
Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible. His life insurance was a big bonus!”
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