I asked an eight-year-old girl I know how school was going. She told me a boy in her class had told her she needed to change her attitude.
“Why do you think he would say a thing like that?” I asked.
“I have no idea,” she replied,”I am perfect as I am!”
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Why can't you use BeefStew as a password?
It's not Strogenoff.
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Murphy's in the pub when suddenly the door bursts open and Paddy
runs in yelling "Murphy Murphy, someone has just nicked your car."
Murphy asks "Did you see who it was Paddy?"
"No, but I got the number plate” said Paddy.
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Mrs.Brown was shopping at a garden market stand in her neighbourhood. She approached the vendor and asked , “how much are these oranges?”
“Two for a dollar,” answered the vendor.
“How much for just one?” she asked.
“Sixty cents,” answered the vendor.
“Then I’ll take the other one,” said Mrs. Brown.
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Alf walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Alf said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address,
medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Alf what he had....
Alf said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Alf to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Alf what he had. Alf said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Alf a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Alfto take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Alf sitting patiently in the nude and asked Alf what he had.
Alf said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Alf said, 'Outside on the truck.
Where do you want me to unload 'em??'
