I still can't believe people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper.
At the store there was a big X by the register for me to stand on. I've seen too many road-runner cartoons to fall for that one.
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store. They lied, everyone else had clothes on.
Keep in mind, even during a pandemic, no matter how much chocolate you eat, your earrings will still fit.
I'm going to stay up this New Year's Eve. Not to see the new year in, but to make sure the old one leaves.
Having some states locked down and some states not locked down is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
The dumbest thing I ever purchased was a 2020 planner.
During the pandemic the buttons on my jeans have started social distancing from each other.
Until further notice the days of the week are now known as thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday.
I never thought the comment “I wouldn't touch them with a 6 foot pole” would ever become national policy, but here we are.
