The foreman of an Irish road crew employed Paddy To paint the white lines down the middle of the road.
He told Paddy that he should paint two miles of road in a day’s work.
After the first day the foreman was pleased to find that he'd painted four miles of road instead of the two required.
On the second day, Paddy completed painting just 2 miles of road, the foreman was a bit disappointed but didn’t complain as this was, after all, only what he’d asked for.
On day 3, the foreman was disappointed to find that Paddy had painted only one mile of road, and so asked, "On yer first day, ya did four moiles o’ road.
On yer second ya did two moiles. But on yer tird day ya only did one moil. What’s up?”
Paddy replied, "Well, oil tell ya what’s up,but I tought a clever bloke loik you woulda been able ta figger it out fer yerself!
Yer see, every day I gets ferder an’ ferder away from de paint can!”
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If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $500 a week. Why?"
The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, handed the guy $2,000 in cash, and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goofball did here?"
From across the room a voice said,"Pizza delivery guy from Domino's!"
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Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway.
"You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said.
"I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."
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The General Manager of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from University and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?'
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Everything but my earrings.'
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog Skipper had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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