My husband asked if they had somewhere where they could throw their rubbish
and it would slide down to the basement by itself without them having to carry it.
“Well, yes,” he was told, “ it is called a lift but the other residents wouldn’t like us doing that!”
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Children Are Quick ….
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables..
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O..
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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Robert went to his lawyer and said, “I would like to make a will but I
don’t know exactly how to go about it.”
The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, “Not a problem, leave it all to me.”
Robert looked somewhat upset and said, Well, I knew you were going to take
a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!”
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There was this party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a
downpour of rain and thunder. These two young men ran for about 10
minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain
increased. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the
road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.
All of a sudden an old man's face appeared outside the passenger
window, and he tapped lightly on the window! The man on the
passenger side screamed out, "Eeeeeeekkk! Look at my window!!!
There's an old guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?!?!?!)
This old man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well, open the window
a little and ask him what he wants!"
So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of
his wits, "What do you want???"
The old man softly replied, "Do you have any tobacco?"
The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!"
"Well, offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies.
So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and
yells, "Step on it!!!" rolling up the window in terror.
Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down, and they start laughing again,
and the passenger says, "What do you think about that?"
The driver says, "I don't know. How could that be? I was going pretty fast."
Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock, and there is the old man again.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, there he is again!" the passenger yells.
"Well, see what he wants now!" yells back the driver.
He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says, "Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks.
The passenger throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window
and yells, "STEP ON IT!"
They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer,
trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden again
there is more knocking!
"OH MY GOD! HE'S BACK!"
He rolls down the window and screams out, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" in stark fear.
The old man replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
