Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders. The old rancher said, "Well, as I see it, most politicians are 'Post Turtles'.'' Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."
The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain.
"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with."
Best explanation of a politician I've ever heard.
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What's the thing that spins around at the front of a plane do?
It's a fan to keep the pilot cool. If you don't believe that, just watch how much he sweats if it stops spinning.
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A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the bartender for a beer.
The bartender refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club.
"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
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Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, are with him.
He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:
My son, "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."
My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."
My son, "James, you take all the offices in the Plaza at City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings. And as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property."
Sarah replies, "Property ? .... the fool had a NEWSPAPER ROUTE!"
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
No one ever says, "It's only a game", when their team is winning.
If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out of her nose?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
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A young Dutch artist exhibits his work for the first time....and a well
known art critic is in attendance.
The critic says to the artist, “would like my opinion on your work?
” Yes”, says the artist.
“It’s worthless” says the critic.
The artist replies “I know, but tell me anyway.”
