After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of strange so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.
Husband: What's up?
Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid...
Husband: Well you don't remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had pooped, then you said: "Please go change the baby, I'll wait for you here."
So I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.
Moral of the story: Never give a man a job for which he is not qualified.
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Thoughts to ponder …
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning
Ever wonder about those people who spend ten Dollars a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?
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When Barry came home, his wife Mary was crying. “Your Mother insulted me,” she sobbed.
“My Mother?”, spluttered Barry. “How could she do that when she is on holiday on the other side of the world?”
“I know,” Mary gulped. ”But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.”
“And?”
“At the end of the letter it said: ‘Dear Mary, when you have finished reading this letter, don’t forget to give it to my son Barry’”
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