98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They tried giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it.
One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and remembering a bottle of
Irish Whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured
A generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little,
then a little more and before they knew it, she had drank the whole glass down to the
last drop.
"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."
She raised herself up in bed and said, "Don't sell that cow."
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‘Where is everybody?" the cowpoke asks.
"They've all gone to see Brown Paper Pete hang," says a bystander.
"Why do they call him that?" the cowboy asks.
"Well, he always wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper shirt, and brown paper trousers."
"Really?" says the cowboy. "And what are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling."
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Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I rearry sick. Got headache,
stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work." The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife
and tell her to make love to me. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great! I be at work soon. . . You got nice house!"
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Guy arrives home very much the worse for wear..."Where have you been?"
asks his wife..."I've been at the opening of the new pub" slurs the hubby "The doors are gold, the bar is all gold even the urinals are gold"...the wife puts
him to bed but can't believe his story so next day rings the new pub...
“Is it true that the doors are gold and the bar is all gold ?"...
"Yes madam they're covered in 24ct gold"...
"and is it true that your urinals are gold?" asks the wife...
There is a long pause then she hears the guy at the end of the phone call out " Harry, I've got a lead on who peeed in your saxophone last night"
