The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial - strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surfaces, like a grass path."
"Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both."
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information. After a few moments a man, named Jay, at the back of the room, slowly
raised his hand.
"Yes?" said the Instructor.
"I was just wondering . . . would it be all right if she carries a golf bag?"
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An old man was on his deathbed and wanted to be buried with his money.
He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside.
“Here’s $30,000 in cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.” he said.
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed: “I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 to repair the roof of the church.”
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new X-ray machine for the paediatrics ward at the hospital which cost $20,000.”
“I’m ashamed of both of you,” the lawyer exclaimed. “I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, I enclosed a check for the full $30,000.”
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A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," he said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!"
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Don't you just hate it when you can't win an argument with a 2 year old ?
My grandson became fascinated with motorbike boats (jet skis) and said that when he grew up he'd ride with me - he on his motorbike boat beside me, on my motorcycle, on the road. When I told him that he'd be on the water because motorbike boats don't have wheels he insisted they did. Nothing I said could shake his conviction.
A couple of weeks later we passed an establishment selling jet skis so I stopped the car and we went to have a good look. He's still insisting they have wheels and smugly, I'm about to prove him wrong. So how does a jet ski retailer move the jet ski out onto the footpath for display ? On a little display trailer that blends in with the jet ski and that trailer has wheels. Not only did my grandson point out that that the motorbike boat had wheels now he could tell me how many and what colour they were.
It took a couple of You Tube clips a fortnight later to convince him that motorbike boats go on water and don't have wheels. Now if I could only convince him that jet planes don't have propellers !
.jpg "President Ian Mc Kay & wife Sherril")
