Knock, knock, Who's there?
Lego, Lego who?
Lego of me and I’ll tell you!
Knock, knock, Who's there?
Dozen, Dozen who?
Dozen anybody want to let me in!.
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A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has, so he asks his sheepdog to count them.
The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.
"So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?"
"40," replies the dog.
"What? How can there be 40?!" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"
"I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."
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A man says to his friend, "My wife keeps complaining that I never listen to her... or something like that."
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Two old ladies Dolly and Ruby were talking about their grandchildren.
Dolly said, "Each year I send each of my grandchildren a card with a generous check inside. I never hear from them... never receive a thank you message."
Ruby replies, "I too send my grandchildren a very generous check. I hear from them within a week after they receive it. In fact, they each pay me a personal visit."
"Wow! How come ?” remarked Dolly.
"Very simple solution... I don't sign the check!"
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An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.
She did this religiously and lived to the ripe old age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
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When I was young, I was extremely poor; however, after many years of hard work, I am no longer young.
I bought a new laptop; all it did was play a song where this lady kept
singing about "Someone Like You". I phoned tech support; they
reminded me I'd bought a Dell.
I used to be in a band called The Hinges. We supported The Doors in the 60s.
My leg keeps making a mooing noise. I think I have a calf injury.
So David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a beer.
The bartender said: “It’s a pleasure to serve you Mr. Hasselhoff.”
“Just call me Hoff,” said the actor.
“Sure,” said the bartender. “No hassle.”
A typo on a tombstone is a grave mistake
A very philosophical friend asked me "What is Earth without art?"
I just looked at him and said "Eh"?
