A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.
Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman said: “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always and will always be shared, 50/50.”
Touched by the beautiful display of love, the young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat. She shook her head kindly and replied: “It’s his turn with the teeth.”
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Two bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
"I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other.
"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way -- "Take a clean dish..."
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A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher.
The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed.The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court.The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally, the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher,
“You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed to you!”
The old rancher replied, “Well, I’ll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself because that durned bull came home this morning.”
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A man on his own from the Bush for Christmas walks into a barbershop in the lobby of a posh City hotel and asks for the works. He has a hair cut followed by hot towels and a very close shave with a cutthroat razor.
While this is happening a stunning woman kneels down and polishes his shoes.
He says to the woman, " You are so beautiful, how about you and I go back up to my expensive suite and spend the afternoon there?"
The woman says " My husband would not like that at all "
The man says " Well don't tell him!"
The woman says " You tell him, he is the person shaving you "
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An old man dies, leaving behind two sons.
In his will, he orders his sons to race with their horses, and the one with the slower horse will receive his inheritance.
The two sons race, but since they’re both holding their horses back, the scenario doesn’t really work.
Perplexed, they go to a wise man and ask him what they should do.
After that, the brothers race again – this time at full speed.
What did the wise man tell them?
Answer:
That if they switch horses, whoever wins the race will get the inheritance because they still technically own the losing (that is, the slower) horse.
