whatseemed like an existential threat to their national watch manufacturers, the
Swiss Government sent out pamphlets to foreign and domestic watch owners, asking
them to sign up if they were interested in buying mechanical watches as gifts
or fashion statements.
Unfortunately, no one signed up. The Swiss were mystified until they realised
their mistake… No one wants to be on a government watch list.
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A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students
of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard,
a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided
to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it,
and attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages
on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear.
And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted
nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water,
sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.
The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and
both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed,
'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a
bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted
nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down
one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED
him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.
He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him.
He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the way to start."
