I was at the checkout about to unload my trolley when a little girl about six or seven years old began to help me. She grabbed a glass jar that I took carefully from her. Looking to see who she was with, I saw two ladies deep in conversation in front of me. Not wanting to interrupt, I told the girl she was welcome to help but not to touch glass or anything heavy. She agreed and we had the cart empty in no time. I thanked her and she looked up with a radiant smile that turned to confusion then horror! She stepped backwards and apologised, saying she thought I was her auntie! I assured her that she had been wonderful and that I had really appreciated her help until she was smiling again.
“My name is Brodie and I am super helpful” she announced before skipping out of the shop behind the ladies she came with.
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Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"
The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today."
The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five."
The third old guy said, "I had 7 riders, the same as last time."
The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today." '
After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I have been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a rider?"
The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to get in the golf cart and ride to it."
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A 77-year-old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar.
Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.
After a short while, the girl notices him staring and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition".
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words. The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman. He whips out his wallet and puts $100 dollars in her hand ---
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: "Paint my house."
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A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex."
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
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Walking home one night, this guy hears a, "Psst! Psst!-give me a hand with this pig would you?"
Looking into the shadows the guy sees his neighbor holding onto a restless and agitated pig. "What are you planning to do with that?" he asks.
"I'm carrying it indoors and putting in the bath tub."
"Why do you wanna' do a thing like that?"
"Well, you see, it's my wife. She is one of those women who knows EVERYTHING! I tell her that the price of petrol has shot up again...she says I know! I tell her there is more trouble in the East again ... she says I know! I tell her Francis down the street is getting a divorce and she knows that, too. Well, tomorrow morning, since she always gets up before me, I'll wait for her to come running to me screaming 'THERE'S A PIG IN THE BATH! THERE'S A PIG IN BATH!'"
And I'll just turn to her and say, "Yeah, I know!"
.jpg "President Ian Mc Kay & wife Sherril")
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