Explaining politics –
I told my son, "You will marry the girl I choose."
He said, "No."
I told him, "She is Bill Gates' daughter."
He said, "Yes."
I called Bill Gates and said, "I want your daughter to marry my son."
Bill gates said, "No."
I told bill gates, "My son is the CEO of the World Bank."
Bill gates said, "OK."
I called the president of the World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, "No."
I told him, "My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law."
He said, "OK."
And that's exactly how politics works.
And thus, began the practice of hiring dumb people to work in influential positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this date.
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The Dublin pensioners club go on a mystery tour every Wednesday and to make it interesting they have a sweep to guess where they are going. Shamus, the coach driver, has won five weeks on the trot.
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A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiac surgeon in his garage. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"
The cardiac surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make £38,000 a year and you make £500,000 when you and I are doing basically the same work?
The cardiac surgeon paused, leant over and whispered to the mechanic.....
Try doing it with the engine running."
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples....'
.jpg "President Ian Mc Kay & wife Sherril")
