The Day the Sorbent Died.
With apologies to Don McLean, (American Pie).
Bye, bye, Sorbent Quilton good bye
Rode my scooter to the super but the super was dry
Those good old folks are having punch ups in aisles,
Shouting, "Touch my rolls and you’ll die. This will be the day that you die!"
Do you believe in toilet rolls?
Can Kleenex save your mortal soul?
And can you teach us how to use it REAL slow?
Well I know that you are taken in
Coz I saw you scrambling in the bin
We all turned up perchance
But we never got a glance
And while some tempers caused a fight
Others refused to make it right
We saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the Sorbent died
(Slow) So bye, bye Sorbent Quilton bye bye Rode my scooter to the super but the super was dry Those good old folks are having punch ups in aisles Shouting, "this will be the day that you die."
------------------------------------------------
RULES FOR SUCCESS (from Dan Bloch)
There are two rules for success in life:
Rule 1: Don't tell people everything you know.
------------------------------------------------
Our cleaning lady just called and told us she will be working from home and will send us instructions on what to do.
------------------------------------------------
Jack, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $50 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $50 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money.
------------------------------------------------
A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job: he asked each applicant the question. "What is two and two?"
The first interviewee was a journalist. His reply was, "Would that be 'twenty-two'?"
The second was a social worker. She said, "I'm sure this must somehow be important for this company's process, but I'm not sure of the answer."
The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001.
The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v. Commissioner of Stamp Duties, two and two was proven by the court to be four.
The last applicant was an accountant. The businessman asked him, "How much is two and two?"
The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it, then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and, in a low voice, slyly asked: "How much do you want it to be?"
And he got the job.
