Big week for Titus.
Bob, as always, sends us the important news;
Gold Coast (60) v Melbourne (61)
Ever wondered what it would look like if two teams tried to lose but in the closest manner possible?
Well, this is what it looks like, and it looks messy.
One thing we certainly learnt from this game is that neither side is going to trouble anyone this season. Not in a footballing sense. They’ll trouble their fans.
Both sides’ skills are poor at best and the Demons, who for long periods dominated play, have a collective football IQ that would see them in the remedial class.
Time and again they made decisions so poor I felt like I was reliving my twenties.
With 50 seconds remaining Nick Holman kicked a goal, sending the Suns ahead by a goal.
This was at the 30:45 mark.
At the 31:03 mark, Marty Hore kicked a goal levelling the scores. I hope he goes on to be a big star, solely because the idea of the MCC members all screaming out ‘Hore’ every time he gets the ball amuses me greatly.
Outside of the Melbourne Club, you’d never hear so many bluebloods yell that out loud.
Then seventeen seconds later, in a passage of play that summed up the ineptness that was the game, the Demons got the ball forward, only for Tom McDonald to drop a mark at the top of the goal square he should have taken, but then somehow get a toe to the ball and hit the post, giving the Demons a one-point lead and the win.
There’s winning ugly then there’s winning stupid, and this was the stupidest win I’ve ever seen.
Sydney (77) v Essendon (72)
So, we’ve always known the AFL’s rules are highly subjective and rely on the mood of the 200 umpires on the field during any game.
Now we discover that the rules are also subject to the context of the game and whether they would impact the game or not.
In the dying moments, as David Myers attempted to kick a match-winning goal from beyond the 50-metre arc, Dane Rampe in a fit of madness, attempted to climb the goal post.
It was one of the stupidest things I’ve seen on a footy ground until I watched Melbourne play the Gold Coast.
It was a clear free kick in the goal square for the Bombers, which would have resulted in the winning goal.
But in the Alice in Wonderland world of the AFL, it not only wasn’t called, but it was also cleared later on as the right call on the grounds ‘It’s the vibe.’
"Well, yes technically [it is a free kick], but I think like all things it's context where and when," said Gillon McLachlan, in a wonderful example of the twisted logic the AFL brings to their own rules.
Now, we all hate Essendon, but this was about as blatant as they come. I get McLachlan’s point that Myers kick fell short, so it didn’t impact the kick, but that’s not the way the rules work.
The rule book doesn’t say, ‘if the goal post is shaken, but the ball would have fallen short anyway, don’t worry about it.”
As painful as it is to admit this, Essendon were robbed, and while that’s obviously funny, it’s a bad precedent for the rest of us.
Carlton (87) v Collingwood (106)
It’s nice to see the Blues try some different ways to upset their fans.
I’d expected them to get annihilated, but instead, they teased their fans at times, looking like they could actually win, only to drop away faster than the continental shelf.
“We appear competent!” You could hear the Carlton supporters cheer, or “This isn’t embarrassing!”
This went on for three quarters until Collingwood decided they better take their opponent seriously, slamming on the final five goals.
You could see this as a positive step by Carlton against one of the best teams in the competition, but I prefer not to give Carlton any credit and instead wonder why Collingwood were off for most of the day?
Once again, Carlton fans left with another honourable loss and thanking the universe that Patrick Cripps plays for them.
Collingwood fans left surprised their team had to break out of a jog to win this one.
