The Definition of "OLD" (Part 2)
#5 I've sure gotten old! I have outlived my feet and my teeth.
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought
prostate cancer and diabetes, I'm half blind,
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded and subject
to blackouts. Have bouts or dementia.
Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends,
but thank God, I still have my driver's licence.
#6 An elderly woman decided to prepare her will, and told her preacher she
two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes
scattered over Woolworth's.
"Woolworth's?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Woolworth'?"
"The I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."
#7 My memory's not as sharp as ir used to be.
Also , my memory's not as sharp as it used to be
#8 Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till all the wrinkles fill out.