WISECRACK of the Week from John Beks
I’M FINE! THANK YOU ….
There is nothing the matter with me,
I’m as healthy as I can be.
I have arthritis in both my knees
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, and my blood is thin,
But I’m awfully well for the shape that I’m in.
Arch supports I have for my feet,
Or I wouldn’t be able to be on the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I’m all right.
My memory’s failing, my head’s in a spin,
But I’m awfully well for the shape that I’m in.
The moral is this, as my tale I unfold –
That for you and me, who are growing old,
It’s better to say “I’m fine” with a grin,
Than to let folks know the real shape we are in.
Old age is golden, I’ve heard it said.
But sometimes I wonder, as I get into bed,
With my ears in the drawer, my teeth in a cup,
My eyes on the table, until I wake up.
‘Ere sleep overtakes me, I say to myself:
“Is there anything else, I should lay on the shelf?”
When I was young, my slippers were red,
I could kick my heels over my head.
When I was older, my slippers were blue,
But still I could dance the whole night through.
Now that I’m old, my slippers are black,
I walk to the store and puff my way back.
How do I know, that my youth is all spent?
Well, my “Get up and go” has got up and went.
But I really don’t mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the grand places my “Get up” has bin.
I get up each morning and dust off my wits
And pick up the paper and read the “Obits”:
If my name is still missing, I know I’m not dead,
So I have a good breakfast and go back to bed.
Author unknown
