YOU KNOW YOU ARE GROWING OLD WHEN….
Everything hurts – what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
The gleam in your eye is the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after, but you haven’t been anywhere.
Your black book contains only names ending in M.D.
You get winded playing cards.
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
You join a health club, but don’t go.
A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge.
You know all the answers, but no one asks the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You need glasses to find your glasses.
You turn out the light for economy, instead of romance.
You sit in a rocking chair and can’t make it go.
Your knees buckle but your belt won’t.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You put your bra on back to front, and it fits better.
Your house is too big and your medicine chest is not big enough.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
I JUST WANT TO LIVE LONG ENOUGH,
TO BE A PROBLEM TO MY KIN.
