i didn't realise until end of night on Tues that no photos were taken. However....I'm sure we could update more interesting photos than just the meeting, but rather photos of Rotary activities through the week.
Got one for ya.... If a Nun quits the Church, does that mean she has kicked the Habit???
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Confucius say: "He who neglects to pay his electric bill shall be de-lighted."
Confucius also say: "He who works in a darkroom must maintain a negative attitude."
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Two Irishmen are traveling to Australia.
Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice:
“You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They’ll rob you blind. Don’t you go paying them what they ask. You haggle.”
At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel.
When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, “That’ll be twenty dollars, lads.”
“Oh no you don’t! My dad warned me about you. You’ll only be getting fifteen dollars from me,” says one of the men.
“And you’ll only be getting fifteen from me too,” adds the other.
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I was sitting at the computer the other day,
Drafting my will, and I called out to my wife,
"when I die, I'm going to leave everything
To you, my love!"
She shouted back, "you already do, you lazy b*stard."
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In the British documentary 56 Up, a man shared that he had earned a law degree at Oxford. Then, in his thick English accent, he proudly proclaimed that he was now a "barrister."
My 13-year-old daughter wasn't impressed. "So," she said, "he spent all that effort getting an Oxford law degree, and now he works at Starbucks?"
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A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time. They wandered around, marveling at the different sights. Eventually they got to a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son... "Junior, go get your Mother."
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Irish never hesitate to come to the aid of their fellow man...air passengers, in this case!
Shortly after take-off on an outbound, evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."
When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued,
"Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of our 10 hour flight.”
Her next announcement came about 2 hours later:
"If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”
The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before.”
“For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”
The mourner took a moment to collect himself and replied, “My wife’s first husband.”
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Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!
Q: Why did the burglar take a shower?
A: He wanted to make a clean getaway!
Q: Where does a rabbit learn how to fly?
A: In the hare force.
Q: What's the definition of an Impotent Loser?
A: A guy who can't even get his hopes up.
- Thank you for viewing the Broadbeach Rotarlight -
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