In the 1980s, a shearer from outback Queensland with a huge pay check decided to spend a few days on the town.
He rode his horse to the nearest large town and booked into a pub for the week.
At the end of the week he went to settle his account.
"What do I owe mate?" he asked the hotelier.
"Well, your room with the ensuite comes to $700. You ate steaks every night totalling $350. Your bar bill is $320 for beer and $140 for whiskey. That makes a total of $1510."
"Fair enough", said the shearer.
"Oh", said the pub owner, "You also owe $30 for hay, water and storage of your horse."
The shearer gave an intake of breathe and snarled, "That &%#$@(=^* horse is gonna ruin me!"
Mabel was pleased when Dave told Dad that he no longer wanted to work on the family farm and he got a job at the local orange juice factory.
However, after several days Dave was sacked. He couldn't concentrate!
The farmer was taking flying lessons so that he could get part-time work as a crop duster.
On his first solo flight he was preparing to land at the local outback airport when the radio crackled and a voice asked, "Please give us your estimated height and position."
Wanting to be seen to be on the ball, he quickly grabbed the radio and said, "I'm five foot ten and sitting in the front!"
"I'm looking for a fugitive from the law."
"Tell me what he looks like?"
"Well, his name is the Brown Paper Kid."
"The Brown Paper Kid?"
"Yeah, he wears a brown paper Akubra, a brown paper shirt, brown paper jeans and brown paper boots. And he's got a brown paper holster which hold a brown paper gun."
"What's he wanted g]for?"
"Rustling!"
A city bloke was holidaying at a merino stud.
The farmer that he was staying with said, "It's a beautiful morning. Why not take the dogs and do a bit of shooting?"
"Great", said the visitor. "Thanks."
At lunch the farmer inquired, "How was the shooting?"
"Terrific,"came the reply. "Got any more dogs?"
