Kindness, One Day at a Time

On the evening before Mother’s Day, the skies opened up just as our car pulled into the parking lot of the Wachusett Country Club. It was one of those fierce warm-weather downpours that soak one to the skin within minutes should an umbrella be out of reach, and guests tried mightily to dodge the drops. Once inside, however, the climate was sunny. Rosemary Ford would have it no other way.

There are few women who could comprehend the very thought of losing a child; fewer still who could survive losing a child by his or her own hand. Rosemary Ford’s life as a wife, mother and school teacher must have seemed charmed until the day when her 20-year-old son, Zachary, ended his. Ford, like so many educators, has teaching in her blood, and the idea that her boy should leave this world without a lasting lesson plan for her to implement was not possible. And so, on Mother’s Day Eve, Rosemary Ford and her family welcomed a full house to the kick-off event for the 365Z Foundation.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death behind accidents and homicide in people ages 10 to 24. It is the fourth leading cause of death in the age group 10 to 14. These deaths leave behind families torn by guilt and confusion. For many, the tragedy can effectively end more lives through the devastation of marriages, the depression felt by siblings and copy-cat behavior by peers. How survivors cope with the loss of a child by suicide can determine whether the child took only one life or many more to escape from pain.

Rosemary Ford’s vision for the 365Z Foundation springs from her own coping skills. When speaking at a Quinsigamond Community College course entitled “Death and Dying and Its Effects on Families,” Ford was asked how she deals with her son’s death. “In memory of my son, I perform an act of kindness every day,” she answered. Upon hearing this, instructor Paul LaCava brainstormed with friends, colleagues, public officials and medical professionals to create a foundation dedicated to making the world around us a kinder, gentler place. Once the cause took root, LaCava presented it to Ford, who saw a chance to celebrate and honor Zachary. The 365 Foundation became the 365Z Foundation, and many who knew Zachary hopped on board.

Speaking that evening about the importance of imparting on today’s youth a commitment to caring was Joe Early Jr., district attorney. Early has long believed in the “it takes a village” approach to preventing juvenile crime and suicide. Also at the mic were LaCava and retired Worcester Police chief Ed Gardella. Both work tirelessly fundraising for various causes, including the Jimmy Fund, and have now added to their calendars yet another reason to nudge their friends and associates.

The foundation claims to be a work in progress, one that will be exploring worthy initiatives such as a WPD Gang Unit summer camp and a Massachusetts student trooper program. In its fledging state, the foundation hopes to get its message of hope to as many young people as possible. 365Z is not affiliated with any religious or political organizations, nor does it provide direct services at this time. Because it is so new, its members are welcoming any suggestions to guide the foundation in its goal to honor Zachary and others who have left this world too soon, by inspiring our children to walk a path of kindness.

It seemed like a lovely way for Zachary Ford to wish his mom a happy Mother’s Day.