Humour ?

Posted by Paul Brewster

Humour ?

This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.

The French Policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking.

With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his Daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and a quite few glasses of single malt thereafter.

Quite upset, the Policeman proceeds to Alco test (breath test) him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French Law why he has just been arrested.

The Englishman answers With humour: No! Do you know that this is a British car and that my wife is the driver...on the other side?

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"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." -Mark Twain

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The new boat rental employee looked out at the lake. It was getting late and fog was starting to come in. He could just faintly make out one small rowboat, its number painted on the hull, still way out on the lake, and he had already used his bullhorn 30 minutes ago to tell all the rentals it was time to return to shore. He used his bullhorn again. "Boat #99, time to come in! Boat #99, please return to shore!" Nothing.

Another employee came up. "We don't have a boat #99."

The other employee looked again, then raised his bullhorn. "Boat #66 - are you in trouble?"

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I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in ....

I asked the trainer standing next to me, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"

The trainer looked me over and said; "I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."

Humour ?

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