Humour ?

Posted by Paul Brewster

Humour ?

A dottering, old professor of logic asked his College class a question.

"If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angeles is 2000 miles from Chicago, and the Moon is 239,000 miles from Earth, how old am I?"

A student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said, "Professor, you're 70."

The old professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"

The student said, "It's easy, I have a brother, he's 35, and he's half nuts."

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A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.''Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk.

'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

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Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.

When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!" he said. "It's my old Plymouth!"

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A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man - you don't stand a chance of hitting her from here!"

Humour ?

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