Not that ol' chestnut again:
- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
- I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places – he told me to stop going to those places.
- I was at the park wondering why this frisbee kept getting bigger… and then it hit me.
- I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.
- My husband and I laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
- My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
And then again...
- I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
And then again ....
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls 000. He gasps, 'My friend is dead! What can I do?' The operator says, 'Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, 'OK, now what?'